Applying for a place on a PGCE course isn’t as simple as just completing an application form then popping in for an interview, as I found out this week. The application process is controlled by an arm of UCAS, the university admissions service. As such, it costs £5 just to enquire. Furthermore, any correspondence you make to any universities you apply to must pass through their hands first. That is just the first obstacle.
I was invited for an interview on Wednesday (yesterday). However, this “interview” would last from 11am until 4pm. The actual interview lasted half an hour at the end of the day. Beforehand, we were asked to present a small presentation on some rather appalling “stimuli” for starter activities for a lesson; discussed the worst piece of television journalism ever created to support private schools in the developing world; and finally writing an essay on how labelling children as problems based on their welfare is bound to inhibit their self-esteem. Two sides of A4…
That’s not to say I didn’t learn anything: the interview was rather useful. The head of maths in the education department pointed out my errors when attempting to answer his classroom-based questions. And I committed a few errors. I’m not so sure I shall get a place on this course, so I was rather hopeless (in more way than one) until today.
Today was the deadline of my written project. It’s funny, most people were very reluctant to hand it in. They were talking about asking the secretary to pull hard on the file to prise the object from the author’s hands. I’m not so sure why that is. Perhaps it is a fear of the impending scrutinising of the work inside. Perhaps it is the fact that they have spent the best part of a year working on it, and continually changing it and never truly reaching satisfaction. I was quite pleased to hand it in in the end. It isn’t perfect. I would have liked to have added more, particularly proving that the simplicial homology groups of a space make a topological invariant. But it’s not bad either.
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I awoke yesterday to a nosebleed. Nosebleeds are not unusual for me, I get them very infrequently but often enough to realise that I should carry a handkerchief or tissue with me. I am unsure as to whether there is some residual cause of these nosebleeds — are they caused by some hidden complaint? They often occur at frustratingly inconvenient times: a school fête, a birthday party, in bed, …
Yesterday we took down the Christmas decorations. It wasn’t quite the last day of Christmas, but by now the Christmas cheer wears off. I haven’t done any work for university over this holiday, and now I face the stark realisation that I will have to do some. I have two exams for which I haven’t revised for, an assignment to do (and though I am not currently aware as to the deadline, I am fairly sure upon checking it will be for tomorrow) and I should have researched more for my project. My motivation waned over the holiday.
The problem is that I usually have something to look forward to, like visiting friends in Kent. But I don’t have that luxury at the moment. Instead I have an impending rigorously scrutinised application process to undergo in the coming months, with I concede an unlikely chance to be offered a job at the end. It’s not really something I look forward to, yet I have to be confident to stand any chance of getting it.
Lesson of the day
Have something to look forward to. If you don’t have anything to look forward to, make something to look forward to.
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On Tuesday I went to see my project leader again to discuss my project. It isn’t easy, of course, and it has taken me longer to understand the principle concepts than I had hoped. I still don’t think I completely understand, but it seems I know enough to proceed. That is good, but I’m greedy and want more!
One thing I noticed is that visiting my project leader for our weekly meeting felt a lot like having driving lessons. The anticipation is a nerve-wracking experience, but I’m fine once I’m there and we’re into the swing of things. I also make stupid mistakes and quickly learn from them! Most of all, getting it over and done with is a curious relief for the rest of the week. The only thing different is that with driving lessons I didn’t get as much homework!
But I guess that is what this stage of academia brings: more independent work. I’ve found it quite a big step from being taught by a person to being taught from a book. You can’t tell a book you don’t understand and hope it describes the problem in a different way. You can consult other books, but what tends to happen is that other books deal with it in an entirely different way or don’t deal with it at all. But then the lecturers are always quite approachable when you do have a problem, so I shouldn’t complain…
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What is philosophy? Perhaps a better question is, what is philosophy for you?
The fact is, when we think about the same things, we seem to view the same situation with surprising differences. Yesterday I was looking out of the window in Merz Court and it was largely not a spectacular view: it oversees the grey Stephenson Building, the central motorway, and the entrance to Exhibition Park. There were a few trees, and some grass was visible, but there were mostly cars and bricks and concrete and wandering people within the periphery of the window frame. Despite the unremarkable picture, I pressured myself into making the most of the moment. What I saw before me was oddly unique – a sight not to be had from any other window in the world. Furthermore, I wouldn’t have this opportunity to gaze at this sight forever, and that while I am alive I should make the most of the things I can see while not being preoccupied by other things.
Having said that, I have been given a lot of things to think about recently. You would think the most pressing thing would be my exams. But no. Before I know whether I will be allowed to progress next year (this rather depends on my exam results), I have to decide – to quite some detail – what I will be doing in my final year. Sorting out a project is not as easy as I thought it would be, and it seems I might have to change the course I’m enrolled on in order to do what I both feel I want and that I feel I should be doing. This could have ramifications on my financial support too. And I’m trying to sort out somewhere for people to stay during the summer.
I’ll give ya bloody philosophy!
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Another exam complete… not that I’m happy with it. To be fair I don’t think many people were. But what I hate more than most is talking about it afterwards: it doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.
So one left. And I’m feeling a lot optimistic with this one. The problem is that I have committed myself to a MMathStat degree (so it has a statistics bias). But I just don’t enjoy the Stats modules now, and I’m not sure I’m really any good at it. I’m pretty crap when it comes to projects, and a third of my fourth year is based on a project. Whereas Pure Maths I have aptitude for. I’m good at it – it’s my niche. But I fear it’s too late to change…
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Well, I am egging Weiran on a bit too much I think! I put my newly acquired management skills into practice, and employed my persuasive skills! Hopefully we are going to get this ball rolling!
I know he will be reading this, so sorry Waz! It wasn’t completely a one-way thing: we both came up with ideas, and we made some headway in getting our ideas to come to fruition. So all very promising. Provided we can find time to work on the project, I’m confident this could be a popular project!
Anyway, apart from chatting to Jodie, that was about it. Oh, and I gave some words of encouragement to Chris. So hopefully everyone will be smiling tomorrow night. That’s something to hope for.
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