Hi guys, check out Collisions And Consequences, of which a fair few of the band are good friends of mine! Go listen!
The Brit Awards
Ok, so it isn’t usually considered a cool show, for all the promoters try. But it’s live once again, and Russell Brand is the host. If Brand is doing it, I’m watching it!
I’m quite a fan of Russell Brand. He reminds me of Louis…
Bowling For Group
A quick summary of last Friday: we had a big breakfast in Chez Pierre. We played ten-pin bowling. As ever, the second game was my best. And as ever, we never got to finish the second game, as we are only given an hour. But our team won… probably! Then we went home. Matt’s speaker cables became dislodged which caused some mild concern, and he was doing stuff he shouldn’t be doing whilst driving… But at least we weren’t in one of the many, many crashes on the way back that hindered our journey. Some were quite spectacular with the length of the queues and with the number of emergency vehicles involved. I don’t think I have ever seen such delays!
Our car was the first back, mainly thanks to Matt’s impatience on the motorways. We dropped Nick off then Matt and I waited at James’ and Louis’ for them to arrive. It wasn’t too much later they turned up, and so I said my goodbyes to everyone, and they soon departed. James, Louis and I had a good Chinese, and then bed.
The journey back up to Newcastle went largely without hitch until York, when signal problems set in, somehow. Anyway, I’m back!
Wish You’d All Tee Off
Ok, so I think I’m on Wednesday of last week now. After Donna had made the breakfast to end all breakfasts the day before, we trundled off to the Sports Café to have a breakfast. It was good, but we couldn’t have a cup of tea with it unfortunately. 
Having also acquired a taste for crazy golf the day before, we also decided to play proper golf today (that and the golf course was closed the day before). We had decided to share golf clubs to save money, so I just paid for a round of golf. Then all those that followed me through the reception area (i.e. everyone) decided they would hire clubs for themselves. So I ended up sharing with Nick (seeing as it was his fault 
). We staggered off to the start of the course, myself probably looking a little silly wearing my usual clothes and Pete, Nick and I started our round before Matt, Louis and James followed with theirs.
My first shot was a swing-and-a-miss (predictably) and Nick offered one piece of advice – to look at the ball as I swing through it. So I did, and it flew astonishingly! Problem is, I didn’t realise this, as I was still staring at the tee across from my feet. I never did find that ball.
So I dropped a shot there, and I also lost another ball on the second hole. But apparently I did well nonetheless. I was quite proud of that! I achieved a score of 5 on most holes, which all had a par of 3, which I reckon isn’t pretty bad for not having ever whacked a stupid little ball with a stupid little club!
Our original intention was go to Rajinda Pradesh on the final night, but seeing as it was closed both the Monday and the Friday, it was decided we should go on Wednesday. We reserved a table for 10, which they amply provided for. I had a Prawn Chilli Balti with Rajinda Pradesh Pulao Rice. It was very nice, I can tell you! However, I did not finish my meal, as I was developing a headache, and I thought at the time it could possibly have been a migraine. It got worse…
Most people had Lamb Madras. I decided not to go for that because I know it isn’t the most appetising curry to look at, and the fact that madras curries are typically rather hot, I thought I’d go for the balti. Rajinda Pradesh also left the bird eye chillis in the curry – as they should – for effect. Only Nick won the Deal Or No Deal competition today, and Pete left his chilli (also as he should) on his plate. So Pete bought the winning box from Nick so that he could win the Deal Or No Deal competition. And why? So that I would have to eat the chilli. I did, it hurt, and I was the only one that ordered ice cream for dessert. I’m no wuss when it comes to chillis – jalapenos are no match for me. But bird eye chillis are bloody hot!
I went swimming later on, still with a headache. Nick decided again we should try the human chain going down the rapids. This time there were ten of us, so we all went down. It wasn’t very comfortable but I did it twice. My headache then got a bit much so I went to the Sports Café. As I walked passed the big screens, I noticed Newcastle United were losing to Liverpool, Dirk Kuyt having scored. I had a cup of tea and sat down, hoping it was just a cup of tea that was the problem. And Alonso scored. My headache got worse. Once the others joined me, I stayed a while then I left while Nick stayed to watch the highlights of the Liverpool game.
No Cashback
Louis had been trying to wind up Donna that we should leave at 6.30am to beat the rush and have a breakfast at Sainsburys near Center Parcs. Instead we left at about 9.30am. Les kept playing Day Tripper on the guitar as we loaded the cars and waited for Matt (James’ cousin who did go to Center Parcs).
We eventually picked up Nick and got on our way. We stopped at a petrol station short of Dartford, and I used the stop to withdraw some money. I noticed that the cash machine charged for withdrawals, so I went inside to get a packet of crisps and ask for cashback. No cashback. £1.85 for withdrawing cash. I should have just waited to get to Center Parcs.
Louis beat us by about a car length to Center Parcs in Elveden Forest – Al managed to get lost on the way and was just about strangling Laurie by the time they arrived! We had all got mountain bikes and started exploring. We weren’t allowed in our villas until 3, so we cycled up to the main complex area and did a little shopping.
We were hoping to go out to Rajinda Pradesh – Center Parcs’ chain of Indian restaurants, but unfortunately and curiously, they are closed on Mondays and Fridays. So instead Nick and I russled up some pizzas and garlic bread. After that we went to the Subtropical Swimming Paradise (read swimming pool). I was made to dive into the Plunge Pool – which is set to between 16°C and 19°C – so quite cold. The rapids were better than at Longleat.
We went to the Sports Café after, which was nicely done. The seats had the names of random footballers at the back (no Shearer…) and there were some big screens showing sport. A JD ‘n’ Coke cost £3.45 – not good.
Les Get Drunk
Today the Newells had a barbeque to celebrate James’ and Louis’ birthdays with the family and some friends. Les got through two bottles of wine and probably a few bottles of London Pride too. Everyone from last night’s trip to the Tap ‘n’ Tin bar Will also went, so again I was wary of people talking about Center Parcs in front of Matt – but that didn’t stop others. And he noticed.
In the end, Nick just told Matt we were going – and promptly left! Others also left around this time. Matt then started to talk to me. That is just about one of the hardest conversations I ever had. At the time, I didn’t know why he was not invited. I now gather that the reason why he wasn’t coming to Center Parcs was because James could not get in contact with Matt, so he invited other people instead. I didn’t know it at the time, and I said so.
The fact that he now knows we went makes me feel a little easier about going… I didn’t want to keep it secret from him. But when – in theory – my secret could implicate others, telling him was less easy. Hopefully he will come next year.
Matt, James and I were the last ones in the garden, occasionally joined by Les with his plans for immigration. When Les wasn’t there, we talked about old times, which is always nice. It also gave me some reassurance that Matt didn’t hate me!
M1A1
I left Newcastle fairly early on – the bus left Central Station at 7am. We made fairly good progress and stopped at Sheffield’s Meadowhall Interchange. Our bus had more people on than there has been whenever I’ve been on, so perhaps that is why we didn’t swap buses as per the usual rigmorale for the journey south. Instead, we swapped drivers at Sheffield for a bold Yorkshireman that cracked jokes for the rest of the journey.
After arriving at Sittingbourne by train from London Victoria, Nick picked me up from the station and we ended up visiting the Sheppey crossing and stopping at King’s Ferry Bridge to watch some barge go by. Nick’s family fed me (thanks!). And then to the Tap ‘n’ Tin…
I reckon that night cost me £80. But it was a bloody good night. That was apart from Nick’s silly drinking games… Met Will, Al and Laurie for the first time. If I’m right, then Will plays for James’ and Louis’ cricket team, Al is the guitarist in James’ band, and Laurie is Al’s girlfriend. Will got rather sloshed apparently – hope that didn’t have too much to do with the 8% Biddendens I bought him… I also tried to avoid the subject of Center Parcs because Matt was there, and I wasn’t sure whether or not he knew that we were going. That was easier said than done.
Louis, Carly, Al and Laurie left comparatively early – we stayed until rather close to 2am. When we did get out, everyone (bar me) went to get something at the kebab shop and then we made our way to the train station to get a taxi. James had been ringing up taxi firms trying to get a six-man taxi, but to no avail. So… Nick decided to walk it. The AA makes the distance to be 11 miles. So Russell and Matt decided to follow. Eventually they made it to Toys ‘R’ Us and got a taxi from there. James, Will and I were sensible enough to bite the bullet and get the taxi to Sittingbourne, which was about £10 each I think. Not bad. End of day one!
A Paint In The Neck
Well I’m slowly getting there with the painting. I should be done by tomorrow. I’ve moved some things back into my room from the various locations within the flat. So now I can use my desktop computer. Yay!
Well it was Mum’s birthday today, so Grandma and Grandad took us out to some Brewer’s Fayre restaurant in Seaton Sluice (I forget the name of the place already…). I had gammon. It was nice, and surprisingly big. The steak itself more or less covered the plate. After that we headed to Boundary Mill for another free tea and coffee. If I had my debit card I might have bought some Tog24 shorts. And since James, Louis and the others had persuaded me that Tog24 is “Les” gear, perhaps I ought to change direction with regard to clothing…
And I was thinking about what a right tight sod I was when I was in Kent. I’m not usually like this at all… I don’t know why I was like this. I played cricket for Northfleet, as I said a while ago. My reward was a pint. That should have been reward enough. Not so. After this, I fleeced Les, James, Louis, Matt and Alex out of a Chinese (they all paid for it, and it was HOOOOGE!); and I also had the gaul to have a shower while I was there.
And despite James, Louis, Matt and Alex having contributed towards my large meal that night, when I organised the football, I asked for the money back for the hall hire. I didn’t do that last time I booked it. On top of that, I didn’t buy Pete and Donna anything for kindly letting me stay over for just about a week. I did buy them a drink, but then Donna bought me one back. AND she made a few fry-ups for breakfast.
I’m such a nob.
Isn’t it funny what thoughts you have when you’re tanked up on paint fumes?
Sittingbourne 2006 #6
Old Haunts
Pete and I, with a lack of anything constructive to do, decided to head out to Sittingbourne. I needed to book the 5 a side for that evening, so I got all that sorted. Then we headed to GameStation (there is one in The Forum now!) and Pete bought some NHL game for the GameCube. It was quite good, I managed to beat him 16-1 and won a fight… but anyway…
After that, I decided we should go and see my old house. So we went and stopped for a Pizza Hut on the way (as you do) then headed towards my house. Saw Matt on the way. It made me feel very old, because as he walked off, the first thing I thought was “my how he’s grown”. So I got to my old house, and it was for sale. After little more than a year. It sounds like a lot of work had gone into it, and so it should if they plan on making £21k extra on the price they paid for the place.
It doesn’t appear any different from the outside, save for the overgrown bushes and weeds in the garden. We had it done so nice – it really isn’t that hard to look after, but never mind. They knocked the garage down behind the house and they have started building flats, which should improve Milton Regis a bit (though it might not!).
Later on, Nick took myself and Martin to Bluewater, where I bought a pair of shorts (shock horror!). Nick – the treachorous sod – bought a Spain shirt. So after that, Donna cooked for me again, and again it was lovely. It was a kind of chicken casserole with mash, peas and carrots. So then it was the 5 a side football…
The teams were myself, James, Louis, Matt and Alex versus Martin, Nick, Steve, Gavin and Joe. We won, surprisingly. I was really rather useless. We won it when I was in goal and the rest of the team were either firing them in or saving my arse in goal. It was great to see everyone there, especially seeing as that was my last day in Sittingbourne.
Sittingbourne 2006 #3
Sunday
Pete had already gone to work and Donna was going to go out to see her Aunty, so I decided to visit Nick, as I had not already done so. I walked up to Bredgar to see him and he was watching the British Grand Prix. It was unusually awkward visit, I recall. There wasn’t a particular reason why this should be so, but I felt that it would be easier if I kept quiet. Then James arrived and we all headed to Pete’s mum’s to have a BBQ, which really was great – the best potato salad I ever had, and the skewers were fantastic!
We played a bit of cricket in the nets after that – my bowling was attrocious, though having said that, I bowled Louis out with a fantastic ball. It was of good length with the biggest amount of backspin I could muster. The ball cut off the grass (read dust) and flew into the stumps. Howzat!
So after that we went to The Sun Inn for a couple of drinks. And then Nick Hampshire turned up. How surreal! The bloke was reciting the prologue to Romeo And Juliet as Shakespeare intended and was drinking ‘gay’ drinks as the others coaxed him into clarifying his sexuality. In the end some people were discussing politics, which at 11pm on a Sunday after a couple of drinks is the last thing I wanted. So after the bar closed, we walked back, as is now becoming tradition. As part of this tradition, things were said that people thankfully do not take heed of. Hampshire by now was rather well lubricated by the alcohol, and started dragging wheelie bins into the middle of the road (sorry to those passing through Bredgar at the time) and we made our way through the field. Hampshire sprang a leak twice in that space of time, somehow. On the second instance, I was instructed to run, which was a bit harsh, so I didn’t run all that quickly and Hampshire caught up with me, the other two having disappeared behind a car. Nick Dathan produced ‘one for the road’ and we continued our journey. Pete and I had a good heart-to-heart at the end, which made me feel much better by what had been going on.
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