job

Absolute Power

They say that with great power comes great responsibility. Having great power can be great fun if you abuse it. I know this because over the last few days, I was the fun. I hope this supreme force realises how desperately frustrating it has been then and since.

Furthermore it has left me feeling extremely powerless. I don’t have the power to have people eating out of the palm of my hand, and I don’t want that power either. I am rather submissive in that respect: I much rather be told what to do rather than do the telling. It does lead me to rely solely on myself to get tasks done, which is no bad thing: I don’t need to trust someone else to get a job done. But it’s a rather lonely way to lead a life.

...with no replies just yet.

Job Interview, Part One

I got up just before 6 am and was out of the house for just after seven. This was to be the start of 800 miles of travel today, for a job interview in Swindon. It never happened.

I mentioned before about the BROD. If I see rabbits on my journey — those cute and cuddly little things — I am doomed for bad luck. I didn’t realise at the time, but seeing a huge gang of them on my train journey just before Durham would spell out the ultimate disaster.

I managed to get as far as just outside Sheffield when the bad news started. Quite frankly it was unbelievable. It is an apparently frequent problem around these parts that some chavs steal a length of signal cable and renders that part of the track dangerous. Ten years ago it wouldn’t have mattered; but now the announcer insists that the train would have to terminate at Sheffield. I was rather hoping it would get me to Bristol Parkway, as per my ticket.

I was still hopeful I might get there in time for my connection; however the coach drivers were particularly rubbish. Derby is around 35 miles away from Sheffield, but somehow it managed to take an hour and a half via Chesterfield. I had to cancel my interview.

And so my journey back began. It seemed they had now fixed this cabling problem, but had not sorted out the train cancellations as I had to stand from Derby to Wakefield-Westgate for the return leg. I managed to get back home for about a quarter to five. And when I got back, I received a letter informing me of another interview for next Tuesday — and really is another story.

...with no replies just yet.

Between Things

It feels like 2008 should be the most exciting year of my life thus far. It hasn’t really disappointed so far — not necessarily for the good in the main it must be said — but I anticipate a lot to happen in the coming months.

I should be graduating this year; perhaps moving out and getting a job. I don’t feel scared as such, but I don’t feel that excited either. Is that a bad thing? Am I underestimating the change in front of me? It really feels like doing my A Levels again… everything is hard, and there is the prospect of having to move away. Indeed, I’m approaching my final months in education with a narrow-minded approach, anticipating one outcome and not even contemplating an alternative. That could be a problem this time round: if I don’t have a backup plan, my 2008 will prove to be a bit of a stutter.

This week could make or break my year.

...with no replies just yet.

No Pain No Gain

I awoke yesterday to a nosebleed. Nosebleeds are not unusual for me, I get them very infrequently but often enough to realise that I should carry a handkerchief or tissue with me. I am unsure as to whether there is some residual cause of these nosebleeds — are they caused by some hidden complaint? They often occur at frustratingly inconvenient times: a school fête, a birthday party, in bed, …

Yesterday we took down the Christmas decorations. It wasn’t quite the last day of Christmas, but by now the Christmas cheer wears off. I haven’t done any work for university over this holiday, and now I face the stark realisation that I will have to do some. I have two exams for which I haven’t revised for, an assignment to do (and though I am not currently aware as to the deadline, I am fairly sure upon checking it will be for tomorrow) and I should have researched more for my project. My motivation waned over the holiday.

The problem is that I usually have something to look forward to, like visiting friends in Kent. But I don’t have that luxury at the moment. Instead I have an impending rigorously scrutinised application process to undergo in the coming months, with I concede an unlikely chance to be offered a job at the end. It’s not really something I look forward to, yet I have to be confident to stand any chance of getting it.

Lesson of the day

Have something to look forward to. If you don’t have anything to look forward to, make something to look forward to.

...with no replies just yet.

Curriculum Veto

I feel like a fish in a pond at the moment; resisting lures.

Aaaanyway, I made my third ever application for a job yesterday. I need to make a CV though. This is a bit of a problem, however. It seems as though it is much easier to write someone else’s CV than my own. The problem is my past employment: there is none of course. I can explain it away… it’s just putting that explanation on a CV that’s the sticking point.

There’s plenty of (conflicting) advice on how to write a CV, but it’s not the same as having someone else write one!

...with no replies just yet.

Land Of The Rising Sun

I want to visit Japan. Fact. And I have the money. False. So either I need to get some, or I don’t go. Simple as that. So how to get the money?

There is working, but it would take a while to get the money. There is the concern that working might affect financing in other areas. So although I’m not ruling it out, I’m not sure whether it can be done. Ideally, we’d be going to Japan next year in the Autumn, but I’m not sure how realistic that is, particularly since I don’t yet have the money. And whether I can raise those funds by working alone in that time is questionable.

What other options do I have? Well, someone suggested (I won’t name names) that I be a man of the night. This was supported by a few people, which is rather odd I suppose. I’m not sure whether there are enough nights in my lifetime to raise that sort of cash for what this body would sell…

So I could sell something else (not my body). This is my preferred option. That was I would feel like I properly earned my money, using what I know and what I can do. Sitting in an office working out sums or standing behind a till and smiling doesn’t really motivate me. I just need an idea…

...with 2 replies.

Pride Comes

I was on the fringes of having a morbid conversation with a friend today. I asked him what was on his mind, and amongst the things he said one was “whether people would miss me if I died”. It’s remarkable how similar we are, at least in thought processes. I often think that. I am reassured by some of the things people say to me, to the point where I could even cry at the kind things people say. I wonder why though.

I want people to be proud of me. I want them to think it was worthwhile them knowing me. I’m wondering how I can do that. I am also thinking that I’m not doing such a good job at the moment. So why should people feel proud of me?

When it comes to specifics (though I’m afraid I’m going to be vague here!), there are certain people I want to be proud of me: the most important people. However, for one person at least but probably more, I seem to have taken the wrong direction. There are people who think it was a mistake of me to return to Newcastle Upon Tyne. Those same people possibly think I should have gone somewhere far away from Kent and far away from Newcastle. And possibly that I should not have gone to university at all.

You may wonder why I should know this. I don’t, to be honest. But there are some clues. The fact is that I have been given no support or reassurance that what I am doing is the right way. I have my reasons for doing things the way I do, but is that enough? Should I take heed of those that did not want me to do what I am doing?

It’s not just university. It’s work, too. I don’t understand why people want me to work in a shop. There’s nothing wrong with it, but why should I? I don’t need to do it for the money. The only thing I would gain from it is, possibly, friends. But I have plenty friends. I don’t have plenty money, but I have enough for my purpose. Everything else people gain from work I gain elsewhere. What I wanted from this summer placement I applied for is the experience in a setting that would be similar to the kind of job I would be doing once I graduate. To me, at least, that makes sense. The fact that the company did not find one for me is unfortunate, but I don’t think that means I should look for work at Sainsburys. It’s not what I need.

Ok, so the CV looks rather bare because I have never worked in a shop. Fine, then it’s my loss. But I can make up for that in other areas. And as I have mentioned, I can demonstrate those things that people supposedly gain by magic if they work for Tesco. I am trustworthy, hardworking, determined. I have leadership qualities, good ideas, communication skills. I don’t think that I needed to have worked at the corner shop to demonstrate those.

...with 2 replies.