hypocrisy

Find A Penny

Find a penny, pick it up, and all the day you’ll have good luck.

Someone had left a penny on a cash machine, so I picked it up. I was looking for something that I feared I might not find, so I thought I could use the extra luck.

In short, it was crap. I couldn’t find what I was looking for, and I couldn’t find anything I wanted. Then I received a text message which put me in a bad mood. Hypocrisy does not meet me well.

I almost did something illegal today. I couldn’t believe all the things that this penny brought me, after its promise of better things to come. So I nearly threw it in the bin, in the hope no-one else felt its wrath. But I put it in a charity box. I’m wondering whether I should feel guilty. I saved the fate of a penny and put its tiny worth into the hands of a good cause (which cause, however, remains unknown to me); yet I may have condemned some poor unfortunates to yet more misery.

I bought this week’s The Big Issue, it’s a mental health special. It was also the vendor’s last copy: a fact in which he had great pleasure sharing with me. He could go and get something to eat. I started reading it and the magazine is just oozing with frightening statistics. One in four will suffer from some sort of mental illness at some point. Furthermore, one article was written by someone who realised in her mid-thirties that she had been suffering from some sort of depression since she was five. It was also very damning of the government’s contribution to the diagnosis and treatment of mental illness. It’s worth a read, especially if you feel inclined to moan about something a little different from the usual fuel prices, family matters and the weather.

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All Is Fair

<picture of a bomb>” />In some ways I feel sorry for the North Koreans. This is a country that is suffering from a poor economy and widespread poverty. The leader has two options: bow down to the rest of the world; or threaten the world into helping his country out.</p> <p>After so much state propaganda over so many years, the leader wasn’t going to have his country look weak to the rest of the world, so nuclear power it was. Costly mistake, but what other leader would readily throw his country to the mercy of the rest of the world? (Shame it is not the case that most would…)North Korea probably opted for the nuclear option having seen that all the other superpowers of the world – including its neighbour and greatest ally (until now), China – had developed nuclear power and are doing well for themselves. They are probably viewing the whole situation as a big case of hypocrisy, especially from the US who have their own nuclear weapons, I believe.</p> <p>The threat of a war frightens me. With the weapons becoming bigger and more destructive, there is no safe place to hide on this planet. Where do we go if we don’t want to play?</p> </div> <p class= ...with no replies just yet.

Secrets

Oh, people and their secrets. Isn’t it just pathetic?

Yes, I have secrets, but I am not a hypocrite. I keep secrets because it is the done thing. If everyone was open and honest, then telling people how you really feel would not be an issue. I suppose in a round-about way I am saying that I would be much more open with people if they were much more open with me.

I am quite liberal with trust: I trust everyone to a degree. But if people want to know how I feel, then I have to know how they feel. I felt I was getting somewhere with someone in this way in a recent conversation, but suddenly it went dead. Neither of us wanted to be the first to divulge. It’s not so much a question of trust in this case – more a battle of wills! I felt I had to win this and make a point. Hopefully the point has been made (in conjunction with this post). I think we trust each other enough to know not to spread our shared secrets, but sometimes secrets are just meant to be that way, to protect those we love.

And this is why secrets are pathetic. Why should something which is little more than a sentence be so potent?

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The Mighty Jungle

Aye, it’s Bank Holiday Monday – fantastic time to do some revision. However, I was taking a tea and mini muffins break and Carry On Up The Jungle was on the TV. I wonder who wrote the scripts… but the fantasy of it all is incredible – and of course it sparked a few fantasies of my own.

If whatever happened tomorrow would be completely forgotten by everyone else the next day (and thereafter), what would you do? I smile as I write this, because I have an idea of what I would do – and I would never do it otherwise! You see, the point of this question is an interesting one. Whatever you would do would be something that you would not feel guilty in yourself about doing, but you would be affected by how other people would react. I suppose to some degree this is true for my fantasy. There is another interesting point – I bet everyone would have something in mind to do on this day. The fact these would not be done is characteristic of human nature I suppose.

So I am a big hypocrite. I would tell someone to do whatever they wanted (within reason) and not let anyone stop them. But I can’t do it myself.

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Classical Fielding

Oh, I have another exam tomorrow morning. I don’t know where the hell it is, so after I’ve written this, I shall be off to the Uni website. Classical Fields exam, which is a bit of an odd one, because I am not actually sure whether I need to remember anything that hasn’t been introduced in other courses.

Oh well… anyway, fields of a completely different kind – cricket. Strauss dropped an easy one again. And Strauss got run out because he was completely mesmerised by the pretty red ball. Michael Vaughan will be eyeing his return soon, so Strauss should really prove his worth!

And what a series of strange conversations I had today. Sometimes there are things you want to say or ask someone but you can’t just go right ahead and say them, for fear of upset, anger or otherwise being misconstrued. I try so hard to be seen as approachable, but perhaps I try too hard. Maybe I force it. I try to hard to be helpful, and perhaps I do the opposite: alienating and suppressing them.

Why can’t people just be honest and upfront with their feelings? Oh, I am such a hypocrite.

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