Today the Newells had a barbeque to celebrate James’ and Louis’ birthdays with the family and some friends. Les got through two bottles of wine and probably a few bottles of London Pride too. Everyone from last night’s trip to the Tap ‘n’ Tin bar Will also went, so again I was wary of people talking about Center Parcs in front of Matt - but that didn’t stop others. And he noticed.
In the end, Nick just told Matt we were going - and promptly left! Others also left around this time. Matt then started to talk to me. That is just about one of the hardest conversations I ever had. At the time, I didn’t know why he was not invited. I now gather that the reason why he wasn’t coming to Center Parcs was because James could not get in contact with Matt, so he invited other people instead. I didn’t know it at the time, and I said so.
The fact that he now knows we went makes me feel a little easier about going… I didn’t want to keep it secret from him. But when - in theory - my secret could implicate others, telling him was less easy. Hopefully he will come next year.
Matt, James and I were the last ones in the garden, occasionally joined by Les with his plans for immigration. When Les wasn’t there, we talked about old times, which is always nice. It also gave me some reassurance that Matt didn’t hate me!