I managed to miss the entire European Cup semi-final tonight. Sounds like it was a good thing I did, as by all accounts Arsenal were crap tonight. I was indeed very asleep at the time. I cannot cite a lack of sleep as the reason for my doze, so I assume that it is just the sheer lack of energy. There are reasons for this.
Got in quite early and printed out the Maple part of the homework, and Jayne and Rosie came in. Rosie asked me about my student uni website, which I had recently changed to the hiv:aids theme (edit: now removed). Sometimes it is difficult to explain your desire to spread the word when it comes to something which is still both a taboo and a stigmatised topic. I wish to make a point of saying that this is not a “gay” disease. The fact that I didn’t say this at the time probably raised an eyebrow or two when my page unveiled itself on screen. It needn’t have been, but it felt an awkward moment.
It’s funny. My closest friends think I’m gay, and from the outside it probably does appear so. So when something like that happens, I immediately feel very self-conscious. It feels like I’m hiding a secret. I’m starting to think though that if I wish to remove the stigma attached to the virus and the corresponding disease, then I shouldn’t feel like this. I need some help in developing my site.
I have also got an extremely complicated form to fill in, regarding my choices for the two coming years. The rules are supposed to be simple. Over the last three of the four years, I must take 360 credits, of which 180 must be in statistics. There are some modules I must take, and others I have been highly recommended to take. There is also the specialisation in pure, applied or statistics to take into account. I think I’ve found a way of doing it!
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About the Gay ThingI think maybe TOO SEX-CONSCIOUS is the word to describe most people here. I’ve been studying in the UK for six months and have just moved onto campus. Now I’m living in a corridor with other eleven people. We have our own rooms and a shared bathroom and a shared kitchen. I’ve noticed that my British flatmates (8 out of 12, white, very friendly by the way) like to hang out in the kitchen. They seldom enter others’ rooms; if they do, the doors are kept open, always; or they just stand by the doorframe and talk with the one inside, even for quite a long time. I just don’t understand why people can’t stay in the same room (except the kitchen) without the door being open. Is it because they are afraid of being seen as gay or as doing something ‘inappropriate’??? I don’t know. Any suggestion? By the way, is bedroom such a private thing in your culture? Thanks!
I’ve always been thinking about The Theory of Relativity. Whenever I say somebody doesn’t understand me, I am actually also his/her challenger. No one can be understood by everyone, cause no one agrees with everyone else on a chosen topic. Anyway, you’re brave and keep on going!
I don’t think that it is specifically the bedroom that is private in our culture, so much as it is the respect of a person’s private space. I don’t think in your case that your friends don’t want to be seen as gay (though without knowing them I can’t exclude it, some people are like that), I believe it is more that they do not want to be an uninvited guest! If they stand in the doorway, invite them in.
As for keeping the door open, that happened when I was living in a flat of six males last year. I think in my case it was because my door would be open anyway, and they were respecting my choice to keep it open and to be less obtrusive on their being in my room. This might be the same for you. Your friends might be reassured by keeping the door open if they feel do uncomfortable. Perhaps you should ask them - although they probably can’t provide an answer! I suppose that kind of thing becomes hard-wired on the brain and becomes habit.
Anyway, I don’t think I am brave - more bold! But anyhow, thanks for visiting my site!